Pardon The Absence


I found it very difficult to sit down and write over the winter break.  It wasn't for lack of ideas, as I compiled a very long list of things I'm interested in writing about.  But somehow writing did not seem to be the solution I needed to the weird feelings going home gave me.

This break really was a lot of soul-searching.  It's hard to live this split life.  It's hard to go from New York to Nebraska, from living with your five best friends to just your dad and dog, from complete independence to being tied down to plans.  My two lives really are worlds apart, and when you live in one exclusively for four straight months, it's very difficult to adjust.  As a result, most of my break was spent hanging out with people and trying new things and just living life.  While I usually like to reflect in writing about this sort of thing, this break was different.  I really relished in living life as in the moment as possible (with exceptions for instagram, of course).  

But I'm back in New York now, back into school.  Back to taking only pre-requisites that do not excite me in the slightest.  Back to cold and snow but without the luxury of a car heater to take me there.  But I'm also back to the friends that feel more like family.  I'm back to the vibrant arts community that I live for.

I'm not going to stop figuring out how to tape together my disjointed existence.  I need to just let myself live, and luckily that is a task I can accomplish anywhere.  But even though I'm looking at living in New York for almost the next entire year straight, break taught me that I'll never be rid of the Nebraskan in me.  But I would never ever want to lose that.

This is something that everyone has to go through in some degree during their life.  I could just sit back and let life float on by and suddenly I would be a different person.  But that is not how I like to experience things.  So prepare for too much self-analysis, because I want to relish every second, every emotion, and every bit of change that is in store.

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Meet The Author

I'm Madysen, born and raised in Nebraska but now living out my dreams in New York City. I moved here to go to Columbia, but living in New York has become so much more to me. This blog is a space where I can share my experiences of reconciling my midwestern upbringing with the life I live in the city. But even bigger than that, this blog serves as a space where I can try to understand where I fit into the larger social world, where I want to go in life, and how I want to go about pursuing all of these endeavors.

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