Consequences of Moving




Reality hit me hard last night when I realized that I'm signing up for a life far from the people I love.  A life where my support can't come from a simple hug and sitting in silence.  This realization punched me in the gut and knocked all of the wind out of me.

I'm lucky that I'll be home in a mere 8 days.  I'm lucky that this time I don't have to feel lost for much longer and that I'll get to see all the people who have made me who I am.

But what about the future?  I've decided that New York will be my home for all of the foreseeable future.  That just means that I'm signing up for a life that leaves me with tearful and lonely nights whenever I get bad news.

Will it be worth it?  I think so.  I wouldn't have decided to live far away from the only place I ever called home if I didn't think that I could handle it.  Everyone has to make this decision sometime in life, and it's a decision that is incredibly individual.

But family is something special.  You can go years without seeing them, and they'll love you as much.  Yes, they kinda have to, but they also genuinely care.  Plus, family isn't just biological.  As I've said before, even if you move to a city all alone, it won't be long until you have a solid support group of friends who are about as good as family.

So I ask myself, will pain be lessened by living with family?  Will I be able to pursue my dream career if I move back to Nebraska?  There is no good answer.  Reality will take its toll no matter what I choose.  So I weigh the options and take a leap of faith.  There will always be pain in life.  Family will always be there for you, and you'll always be able to show support from far away, even if it takes more effort.

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I'm not sure really where all of these thoughts are heading.  But it's a Sunday late afternoon and I've been writing in Swahili or watching Brazilian dance all day.  So make of this post what you will.

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Meet The Author

I'm Madysen, born and raised in Nebraska but now living out my dreams in New York City. I moved here to go to Columbia, but living in New York has become so much more to me. This blog is a space where I can share my experiences of reconciling my midwestern upbringing with the life I live in the city. But even bigger than that, this blog serves as a space where I can try to understand where I fit into the larger social world, where I want to go in life, and how I want to go about pursuing all of these endeavors.

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