Struggling to Move All-The-Way In


My move to New York City was easy.  I came here for college, food and board paid for.  I didn't have to hunt for an apartment, live on a living room floor out of a suitcase, or really even struggle to make friends.  College made all of that easy for me, at the time.

But now I'm feeling the struggles of moving to New York.  Not just physically living here, but moving my life. 

For most college students, it's easy to live in this limbo zone.  Whether you're like me, and made the 1000+ mile move, or you're living in the same city as your childhood home, you never feel fully settled.  You're kicked out of the dorms every summer, so you can't really settle down for too long.  You move every year, you aren't allowed to buy your own furniture or mattress, and if home for you means burning a candle or some incense--forget it.  

You have a doctor at school, but it's only through health services.  Same goes for psychological counseling.  Most likely you have to share a kitchen with 20-30 other people who will use your dishes and not wash them, and steal your snack food and leave the common area a total mess.  You still spend your holidays at home, and if you lock yourself out, you can call the front desk of the building rather than a locksmith.  

I didn't realize how different it would be to actually live in New York over the summer.  Last week I found myself with a nasty eye infection that required a doctor's attention.  But Columbia health services is closed for the summer, so I ended up going to the emergency room.  Now I have an ophthalmologist in the city.  Same goes for psychological services, I had to ask non-students to help give me recommendations.  I've had to price compare movers, carry my life around in a tote because work and home are too far away, and I've had to kill more roaches than I would have liked.  I'll probably have to learn how to work with exterminators here soon.  

I thought that I had really finally moved to New York before.  I thought I knew what it was like to be an adult and take care of yourself.  But now I"m realizing I had absolutely no idea what that even meant.  I still don't, because I still have a lot to work on with familiarizing myself with this city, the struggles of living without a parent to fix things for you, and just my own personal issues combined.  

But I feel like I might finally be able to say that I live here for real.  

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Meet The Author

I'm Madysen, born and raised in Nebraska but now living out my dreams in New York City. I moved here to go to Columbia, but living in New York has become so much more to me. This blog is a space where I can share my experiences of reconciling my midwestern upbringing with the life I live in the city. But even bigger than that, this blog serves as a space where I can try to understand where I fit into the larger social world, where I want to go in life, and how I want to go about pursuing all of these endeavors.

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