Stop Making Excuses

Ahh nothing like starting a post off with a large and creepy selfie.  
The universe must have decided that today was going to be a life changing day for Madysen, because it pounded a lesson into me.  Don't spend your time hemming and hawing over what you want to do in life or make excuses why you can't just go for it yet– decide what you love and what you want and just do it now.  This instant.

A few months ago, E suggested a surprisingly great book to me.  Things have been strange for me since mid-summer, and he thought this book would help empower me to realize I can get out of this funk.  (Though therapy, E's always listening self, and a lot of writing have helped too.  Especially the therapy).  I started Jen Sincero's You Are A Badass reluctantly.  I had never read a self-help book before and had internalized a stigma against the genre.  Well, I started it right before classes began so you can infer just how far into the book I made it...

I grabbed the book for the first time in months as I headed out the door to work today.  Let me tell you, commuting an hour each way to work is much more pleasant with rainy mood on the headphones and a book in hand.

The section I happened to have left off at was entitled "Lead With Your Crotch."  The main points of the chapter? 1- Just see what you can get away with.  2- Lose track of time.  3- Keep being the beginner.  4- Love yourself.  Basically (ding!) don't mess around anymore.  Just do what you love and it will work out of you really put yourself out there and work hard to make it work.  Believe that your future can begin now instead of waiting for your future to become reality.

That was all fine and dandy and philosophical, but I got off the train and ran back to my room where I didn't go after my dreams.  I didn't do my homework.  I watched an episode of Bob's Burgers because I only had 30 minutes to rest before having to go speak broken Russian in a cafe for an hour.
The universe wasn't happy that I wasn't picking up what it was shoving in my face.

I needed a stronger sign.  I needed proof that this was more than just self-help mumbo jumbo.  And that's exactly what I got.  I discovered that a member of my Russian class had started one very profitable business and was in the process of creating his next.  He had an idea and just went for it, and he was doing it again.  There was no sense of "what if I fail," because then why even try?

Thanks universe.  I get it now.

I'm starting to just do what I love the most.  Right now.  I should be doing homework, but I love getting my thoughts out in my blog.  I love reading and seeing shows of all varieties and talking about art with people and just discussing life; seeing what interests people!  Why should my social and soulful needs play second fiddle?

No more putting the blog off entirely until I finish my homework (since that will never happen).  No more waiting for breaks to read books begging for my attention from my newly-built IKEA bookshelf.  No more waiting for a sign.

Time to start.


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Meet The Author

I'm Madysen, born and raised in Nebraska but now living out my dreams in New York City. I moved here to go to Columbia, but living in New York has become so much more to me. This blog is a space where I can share my experiences of reconciling my midwestern upbringing with the life I live in the city. But even bigger than that, this blog serves as a space where I can try to understand where I fit into the larger social world, where I want to go in life, and how I want to go about pursuing all of these endeavors.

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