It's been a long and rocky semester, I'm not going to lie.
I feel like I'm losing my mind all the time, I'm stressed to the point that I can't eat, I've gotten really skilled at crying in public...
I don't know.
It feels like I'm constantly being punched in the gut, but I'm bouncing back. I'm over letting it get me down, it's just reached the point that it's frustrating that I can't blossom like I know I should be able to.
I miss writing and reading. I stress too much about school. I don't take time to do the things I love.
So that's where I've been. I feel stuck in this misplanted state. Not quite a New Yorker, but going home to Nebraska is scary. Do I belong anywhere anymore? I have to say I'm not sure.
But at least I know who I am. I know I love what I am doing, I love where I am going, I just need to step out of the gloop and run into the sunset. Because clearly my life is a romantic comedy.
I know how much of a kickass badass I am. But it's winter, getting cold, sprinting into finals...and life gets difficult. Going home to an emptier Christmas is daunting.
But the only thing I can change is my attitude. And how well I can take care of myself.
So it's off to massage time and then powering through work so that Thanksgiving break can be all I hope it will be. I have never been more determined to be happier. And that starts with telling you all-- anyone who reads this-- how sad I have been.
You can't ignore the past if you want to move forward.
more later.
Labels:
depression,
rebirth
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