Too Much Running Through My Head


It's been a long and rocky semester, I'm not going to lie.

I feel like I'm losing my mind all the time, I'm stressed to the point that I can't eat, I've gotten really skilled at crying in public...

I don't know.

It feels like I'm constantly being punched in the gut, but I'm bouncing back.  I'm over letting it get me down, it's just reached the point that it's frustrating that I can't blossom like I know I should be able to.

I miss writing and reading.  I stress too much about school.  I don't take time to do the things I love.

So that's where I've been.  I feel stuck in this misplanted state.  Not quite a New Yorker, but going home to Nebraska is scary.  Do I belong anywhere anymore?  I have to say I'm not sure.

But at least I know who I am.  I know I love what I am doing, I love where I am going, I just need to step out of the gloop and run into the sunset.  Because clearly my life is a romantic comedy.

I know how much of a kickass badass I am.  But it's winter, getting cold, sprinting into finals...and life gets difficult.  Going home to an emptier Christmas is daunting.

But the only thing I can change is my attitude.  And how well I can take care of myself.
So it's off to massage time and then powering through work so that Thanksgiving break can be all I hope it will be.  I have never been more determined to be happier.  And that starts with telling you all-- anyone who reads this-- how sad I have been.

You can't ignore the past if you want to move forward.

more later.

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Meet The Author

I'm Madysen, born and raised in Nebraska but now living out my dreams in New York City. I moved here to go to Columbia, but living in New York has become so much more to me. This blog is a space where I can share my experiences of reconciling my midwestern upbringing with the life I live in the city. But even bigger than that, this blog serves as a space where I can try to understand where I fit into the larger social world, where I want to go in life, and how I want to go about pursuing all of these endeavors.

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