You Control Your Happiness

I love this blog, I really do.  Just, lately I've been so enamored with everything that is happening in my life on a daily basis that it's hard to remember to sit down and reflect.  But reflecting is incredibly helpful as well.

This semester is most definitely the greatest time of my life thus far.  I'm happier than I can ever remember being before, I feel fulfilled, and like I'm truly capable of anything I set my mind to.  I'm still on top of homework, in a relationship that's stronger and more bonded than I imagined possible, I'm applying for internships that go beyond the world within which I've spent the past three years working, and I have more genuine and beautiful friendships than ever.

It almost seems like there should be a catch for how wonderful everything feels.

But you know what?  I don't think there is.  I finally think that I can and do deserve to have a good life.  And that's what makes all of the difference.

It's flawed to believe that life just happens to you as you passively sit there, twiddling your thumbs.  That's not at all the case.  Life gives you what you exactly think it will.  There is no one out there doling out the good and the bad.  If you think that you have been a sub-par human, then you will feel you live a sub-par life.  It is only our perceptions of the world and of life that shape what happens to us.  The fact that I've begun to see the merit of my own self in the universe has, I think, caused right now to be the best and most successful time of my life.  And the best part is that the happiness and worth just keeps expounding upon itself until...well I don't know.  Until something amazing happens.

This isn't to say that all of the bad times go away.  This isn't to say that you can shrug any insults off your back and not feel hurt when others make a dig at that self-worth you've been working so hard to build up.  But it does mean that the compliments mean more to make up for it.  There are more signs in life that you pick up on to distract from the bad.  You create more of the good in your own life and the bad slowly turns into an annoying but ignorable background noise.

And background noise can easily be drowned out with a pair of headphones and the best dancin' music in your library.