Freshening Up


Who knows why people blog anymore?  Who know why I have this blog anymore?  I started this blog because I didn't know who I was or where I belonged.  And now I'm wondering if I'll ever find the answers to those questions.

There is never going to be an answer to finding your own purpose and meaning in life.  Because there is no inherent purpose.  There's no puppet master dragging us all around and planning out where we will go.  Those decisions are ours.

But I've truly come to realize that making your own choices is much harder than people make it out to be.

Making your own choices and writing your own story in life requires guts.  You have to believe in yourself, in your skills, in your worth and put yourself out there.  You can't just sit on the bathroom floor and cry about feeling like you're not doing anything in life.

But sitting on the floor and crying is the much easier solution.

I have so many days where I feel I'm not good enough for anything.  I have all of these dreams of making a podcast, supporting all of the artists out there, writing novels, publishing books of poetry, writing a successful blog, making a documentary, making something that matters in this world.

But first you have to believe you're good enough; that the risk is worth taking.  And maybe I've always just been too humble my whole life.  Maybe I don't see what everyone else sees when they look at me.  I don't understand how there are so many people in this world putting their work on display so unabashedly.  It's such a foreign concept to me.

When I initially wrote this post earlier today, the ending was very different.  I was disheartened and downtrodden and didn't think that anything I could ever do would be worthwhile.

But that's not me.  That's not the Madysen who started this blog, with dreams of exploring and understanding the world better from her own unique lens.  The easy solution is so bemoan your inability to do anything.  But the fun solution is the one where you seek out places in the world where you can make a difference.

I may not be the next great American novelist, but I can certainly find a niche in which to write that has yet to be explored.  I can carve out my own purpose and space without having to compete with the pros.

I don't have to be better than anyone else to make my mark.  The space I create in the world as Madysen, pure and simple, is more powerful than anything else I can try.  There are needs that only I can fill.

So we are freshening up this blog in the coming months.  I finally made the jump to get the domain name at www.midwestmisplant.com.  I have designs I just need to code.  And let me tell you, I have a lot of exciting projects in store.  I'm not giving up on myself just yet.


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Meet The Author

I'm Madysen, born and raised in Nebraska but now living out my dreams in New York City. I moved here to go to Columbia, but living in New York has become so much more to me. This blog is a space where I can share my experiences of reconciling my midwestern upbringing with the life I live in the city. But even bigger than that, this blog serves as a space where I can try to understand where I fit into the larger social world, where I want to go in life, and how I want to go about pursuing all of these endeavors.

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