As I've been working on keeping parts of my life a little more private, I've found there are moments when I'm just bursting with emotion and thoughts.  Normally E gets the brunt of these, but they come out jumbled, not even remotely organized, and cause more confusion in the long run.

So I re-re-re-re-re-discovered for the umpteenth time the beauty of journalling.

As a child, like everyone else, I was given many many journals.  I would always start writing when I was particularly upset with my father for leaving Mayonnaise out on the counter overnight when I had gotten in trouble for leaving ketchup on the counter while I ate my meal (clearly still worthy of a journal entry as I actually remember the event).  Or sometimes the mood would strike me to write out missives of my unrequited love of the day to the cute boy in my kindergarten class who pronounced the word yellow as "lellow."  I now think that he did that on purpose, cuz, you know, the ladies love a lisp!

But earlier this summer I was *gasp* computerless for a week.  Plus, I needed somewhere to write out longer blog ideas that wasn't my tiny notebook.

So I ventured to a random office supply store that google maps told me was near my now former office and bought myself a black, unlined, moleskine beauty.

Now, the idea for a beautiful unlined moleskine came to me my freshman year of college.  I was working for an AMAZING choreographer, Kyle Abraham.  Normally I would have projects to do at home, but a few times a year I got to go in and help with rehearsals.

To make a long story short, Kyle had this exact moleskine.  Now I think the notebooks are lovely new, but seeing his loved, tearing apart, treasure that held all of his brilliant ideas...well that made me want to fill a moleskine of my own.  To have a notebook that encompassed all the parts of my life at that moment.  Whether it be to do lists, thoughts and ideas, blog inspiration, drawings of a soon-to-come blog redesign, sketch ideas, or just general emotions....that's what I wanted.

And that's what I've started to create.  I realized that I couldn't just wish it into creation, and I couldn't just sit down and fill 'er up willy nilly.  I needed to live.  To let the ideas come to me.  To let the journal be a candid snapshot of my life for however long it's with me, instead of framing my life– a posed picture– to hang up once and be done.

Journaling is a lost art.  I'll probably lose it again.  But that's the beauty of one will ever have to know.


  1. Oh my! R says "lellow," thus ensuring he will break hearts! ;) I, too, bought a moleskine once in a romantic fit of wanting to write more, but never filled it because it felt like too much pressure, like it needed to have only things of some certain weight or seriousness in it. So it got a few notes about restaurants on one vacation, and nothing more. Sad. Hope yours is getting put to better use! Xo, M


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Meet The Author

I'm Madysen, born and raised in Nebraska but now living out my dreams in New York City. I moved here to go to Columbia, but living in New York has become so much more to me. This blog is a space where I can share my experiences of reconciling my midwestern upbringing with the life I live in the city. But even bigger than that, this blog serves as a space where I can try to understand where I fit into the larger social world, where I want to go in life, and how I want to go about pursuing all of these endeavors.

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